


Like I'm Gonna Lose You

by ABC24



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 05:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABC24/pseuds/ABC24
Summary: Inspired by the song 'Like I'm Gonna Lose You'.Michelle Jones has been aware of Peter Parker's extra-circular activities since she was fifteen, from that point on she figured she would show Peter how much she cared in the smallest of ways.





	Like I'm Gonna Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably be writing my dissertation rather than writing this but sometimes these things happen. 
> 
> I apologise if the ages are wrong with the timeline of the MCU, I did my best with what I could find on google.

Michelle Jones met a superhero in the flesh when she was fifteen. Spider-Man wasn’t as infamous as Iron Man yet, but he was well on his way after the Berlin Airport incident. New York loved their homegrown hero making it to international news, but he was still small fish in comparison to the rest of them. At that point in time she didn’t know for certain who was beneath the mask, but she had her suspicions. In her mind, there were a pair of brown eyes that seemed to fit perfectly behind those animated lenses. 

She met him when he tugged her back from stepping out in front of a car; earphones in, phone (or book depending on the length and familiarity of the walk) to face was her favourite way to commute. This meant she could sometimes be oblivious to her surroundings, luckily, the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man was not so oblivious.  
His web had caught on her backpack, pulling and forcing her to stumble back, eyes wide and hand ready to grab her keychain whilst the car passed behind her back still unbeknownst to her. Her eyes had darted around searching for whoever had tried to steal her bag but found no suspects, instead spotting a spandex clad boy jumping down from an awning, rambling apologies. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you- I’m not trying to steal your bag.” With each word his voice got higher and more rushed, repeating the words as he got closer, hands up in peace. “I-I’m not a thief. I stop thieves. Uh… Car.” He said finally, gesturing to the street behind her. It would definitely make sense if those brown eyes were behind that mask.   
“You should really get better at that if you’re going to avoid getting pepper sprayed in the future.” Michelle finally replied, giving the poor boy a break. Se lifted the strap of her bag back securely on to her shoulder. 

“At what?” He asked. 

“At talking to pretty girls.” She shrugged, turning back and pressing for the stop light with a flourish for his benefit. 

“I never said you were pretty!” Spider-Man stuttered. He was doing a horrible job of hiding his age. 

The lights changed, and traffic stopped.

“Didn’t have to. I know what I am!” She called, throwing her hand up to wave back at him as she walked across the street.   
\-----   
Michelle Jones realised that Peter Parker was a mess when she was eighteen. He was a teenager who wore spandex suit with more technology stuffed inside it then their school budget could ever dream of, and he had no idea what he was doing. 

“You save everyone else’s ass so I’m saving yours.” 

“By making me three different types of study notes?” Ned liked to use flashcards, Betty liked to rewrite and refine blocks of texts to a single line, and Michelle like mind maps, chaotic and messy. Since Peter was never there, always grabbing either hers or Ned’s notes on the bus to meets, she had never narrowed down how he best liked he notes laid out so created a version of each style she knew he’d used previously. And it was actually four, she’d spoken to Ned about getting Karen to quiz Peter during quiet patrols. 

“I figured you can’t lose them all.” And with that she got on the bus, headed to the back away from everyone else and stuck her earphones in. She watched as Peter got on board, shuffling in behind Ned. She watched as he smiled a little and glanced back at her when Ned asked what was in his eyes. 

Two hours later, she watched as he hesitated, just for a second, before jumping out the window and swinging towards a giant, metal doughnut. 

She was certain he had no idea what he was heading towards. She was certain that he had no clue how he could help the situation. She was certain that despite all this he was going to do his best to stop anyone getting hurt even if it meant getting hurt himself. She was certain that Peter Parker was a damned mess, but he was better than every single person on that bus and she was certain this was more than a crush.   
\-----  
Michelle Jones went on a date just three short months after everyone had returned from oblivion. It wasn’t her first, it wasn’t even her first in Europe, but it was her first with Peter Parker. 

It was also the first time she had ever saved Peter. 

She would perhaps regret that decision in six months. Turns out people hold grudges when you hit them with maces (“It was actually a morning-star. It’s a really common misconception, y’know,” Peter had said, correcting her as they retold the events to Ned. “So you did use those study notes I gave you after all, huh, Medieval Dork.”)   
\-----   
Michelle Jones realised her boyfriend was going to die when she was at her high school graduation. His last encounter with death hadn’t stuck, inevitability said that it’d happen, and with the new Avengers still rocky on what their titles meant it was hard to see where he’d get the help. 

Of course, she’d known about the dangers of his life, but with every close call, every stab wound, every concussion, he had calmed her nerves and brushed it off with one of those smiles. She knew she was an idiot for ignoring how her heart seized when he fell through her window, but that damn smile… It was her weakness. 

This time though there was no smile. This time there was pale, cold skin and an even colder med bay. 

This time she sat with May, Ned and Tony, her book somewhere on the floor; turning the pages had made it too obvious how much she was shaking. 

Usually she was good at being patient. Usually she could wait things out in silence, but this time the background noise was too deafening, so she ended up taking a wonder through the halls. 

“Michelle?” She heard a soft voice call as she passed an open door. She took two steps back, turning to look inside the doorway. There sat Pepper Potts, elegant even in the most casual of outfits. Michelle guessed that work never stopped when you were CEO of an empire and babysitter to a supposedly retired Tony Stark. “I wasn’t expecting to see you this far into the East Wing.” Huh. She’d been walking longer than she’d thought. “How are you holding up?” 

That was definitely a question she wasn’t ready to answer. 

“People usually ask after the patient.” Michelle pointed out. 

“I’ve got a feed on his vitals. Even Friday can’t tell me how those who wait in vigil are feeling.” 

“That’s a project you should set Tony on. It should distract him for ten minutes.” 

“Even though your diverting, I’ll definitely make a note of that.” Pepper said with a soft smile. Any other day Michelle would be freaking out. Pepper was to her; what Tony was to Peter. They had spoken a multitude of times, but she was constantly in awe of the woman and what she stood for. She was working up the courage to ask if she could shadow her in the summer of her Freshman year of college. Pepper Potts was everything Michelle Jones wanted to be. 

“How did you do it?” 

“Present tense. Retired is merely a title. I know he’s still got functional suits hidden away.” 

“My question stands, albeit with the aforementioned adjustment.” Michelle said with a small smirk. It graced her face for a second then fell once more. 

“I wish I could say it gets easier.” Pepper sighed, gesturing to one of the armchairs opposite the sofa she was stretched out on, placing her tablet to the side. “It doesn’t. Once you get into that line of work, your life is no longer your own. It belongs to everyone.” 

Michelle hummed at that in agreement, Peter never cared for himself if there was someone worth saving out there. 

“But I think they sometimes forget that we are also amongst those people.” Pepper continued. Her eyes weren’t exactly focused on Michelle, looking past her to the doorway. “I wasted too much time being angry about that, though,” she sighed, adjusting her gaze back to the teen in front of her. “I know I’m going to lose him. Even now, he can only ignore it all for so long.” She said, her voice quieter now than it had been before. There was only a few that understood and voicing the unsaid, at times, was therapeutic. “So, I try to make it worth it.”   
\---  
Michelle Jones wasn’t the type to be overtly affectionate. It wasn’t possible for her to be. If she were, it would be insincere. No, her love was quiet and undetected by the unobservant. It was mocking jabs and small smiles, it was four forms of notes and a collection of every meme he’d missed whilst sitting in a magic stone from space. Her love was walking through green smoke that made her watch her friends fall from the Washington monument over, and over, the memory of her family falling into dust, and clobbering the idiot who had ruined her date. Her love was learning to stitch a wound and taking a first aid course. But, it was also quiet nights on the couch, pizza between friends with no whispered words about spiders or villains.   
\----  
Michelle Jones got engaged when she was twenty-one. Peter had a ring tucked away in preparation (he had originally hidden it in his backpack, but with his tendency to lose those Michelle had moved it to his sock drawer), but he wasn’t going to make the step. To her it was a title, an archaic institution that was only surviving due to capitalism and a day to look pretty. But it was an archaic institution that mattered to Peter and let it be said that Michelle looked stunning in any dress. But also, Peter Parker was destined to die, and she was tired of wasting time. So she proposed. 

On her mother’s timeline Michelle would have graduated before she was engaged, but in the summer before her senior year of college she’d be married to one spandex wearing dork. And it was worth every strange look she received when she returned to classes. It was worth every sly comment from her family. It was worth it solely for the fact that every single time Peter looked up at her and grinned, saying “Oh, hey. That’s my wife.” 

It was more than worth it.


End file.
